what a punk...

have you ever felt like you were in the zone? you know those moments when everything was going right, it seemed like everything you touched turned to gold. i believe God leads us into seasons of victorious living.

unfortunately, these seasons do not determine whether we run the race God has set before us successfully. it's how we respond to the seasons when everything is falling apart and going wrong that determines how successful in life that we are.

in my life, there was a point that the Holy Spirit identified to me a recurring problem. this problem was that i had a lack of perseverance; no determination to push through sickness, sin, and disappointment.

actually i had certain habitual vices that i would flee to in the time of adversity. i would create the excuses in my mind before i went there, and basically comfort myself and prepare myself for the flying leap onto my face that i was about to take. all the while, convincing myself with the aid of the enemy, that I somehow needed or deserved this vice because of my current circumstance or state of mind due to the aforementioned problems.

i used to believe that I was a Warrior for Christ. what a joke. My life had become the epitome of the Scripture in Proverbs that states, "if you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small" (prov. 24:10).

typically I would get sick, get discouraged and/or disappointed because of certain circumstances and then use them as an excuse to give a vacation to my carnality. I was weak. Unexcercised in my faith, not persevering through trouble.

it's in these moments that i typically remember paul and silas who were beaten for preaching the Gospel and thrown into jail. yet they tapped into God's strength due to the lack of their own and turned from their carnality to the Living God; singing praises to God from a cold, damp and bloody jail cell.

it's in these moments i've felt like a punk.

have you felt like i have before.....a weakling who follows Christ soft, not hard.......when it's convenient or worth our while.......when we are in the seasons of victory and it's all smiles and Scriptures and joel osteen sermons and Bibles and laptops and starbucks? it's easy to follow Christ during these times.

what about after the beatings?.....the failures?.....the sicknesses?.......the disappointments?.....even through the times of God's discipline?

interesting that the word discipline is where we derive the word "disciple". if I call myself a disciple of Christ, that means that i am following the disciplines that Christ demonstrated in His life.

Jesus persevered, always trusting in His Father to take care of and provide for Him. He always demonstrated a quiet confidence knowing that His Father would take care of the current situations facing Him. He told us continually to "have faith in God" and to "not let our hearts be troubled".

does that mean we should always "game-face" our circumstances? no. Jesus wept profusely facing His ultimate trial, somehow even crying what was like tears of blood.

Jesus PERSEVERED although. He grabbed His Fathers hand and went forward towards His destiny.

let's learn this discipline from Jesus; the discipline of perseverance.

I won't be a punk.

God help me follow hard.....by Your Strength, Your ability in me.

extraordinary encounters with God

remember back to the last time you had an extraordinary encounter with God.

think about your feelings in the midst of that encounter. were you burdened with the weight of your shortcomings? did you feel as though you werent worthy to be in His Presence? maybe you were so concerned with receiving an answer to prayer that you didn't enjoy God's Presence as you could've.

whenever i've experienced the Presence of God during worship or prayer in an extraordinary encounter, i've known all of these things; feelings of inadequacy, a broad view of my weaknesses, and an inability to transfer focus from my needs to God.

however, as ive went deeper into His Presence, these things begin to shed away. one by one, they begin to be thrown off by the power of His Presence.

i realize that im His son, and that my sins are washed away. i begin to feel His heart of love for me.

i realize that He is my strength, and it's by Him that i will overcome our my own weaknesses. i begin to feel His heart of love for me.

i realize that He is the loving and strong Shepherd who is able to take care of everyone one of my needs without my assistance. i begin to feel His heart of love for me.

see, as we draw near, we begin to "bend beneath the weight of His wind and glory."* the concerns and fears we have are swallowed up by the gulf that is His grace. i realize that i had been worried about things that were in the Hand of the Father when i am in His Presence.

then i'm hushed.

i find that at certain points when im in Gods Presence that i can think, do, or say almost nothing.

it's at this point that i realize that i'm encountering the love of God. nothing else matters in this moment. there are no other feelings to feel, no other words to say.

i stand weightlessly on my own two feet, as the wind of His Presence and grace overcome me like a hurricane.

how He loves us.